Chairman How's Glorious Army
Significantly Lowering the Bar Since 2008.

May
25

A couple of things before we get started:

  1. There will be a new summer feature that I plan on rolling out shortly. What’s it going to be, you ask? Well, I’ve got some interviews lined up for all of you throughout the summer (hopefully) that you may find interesting. I’m going to be chatting with some of the different people I met along the way when I did this more frequently, and we’re going to be talking about…well, all of this, essentially. For those of you that don’t or haven’t ever worked on a site before, there’s a lot that happens behind the curtain that, at times, is way more interesting than the stuff you read. For those of you that have been with this site since its early days, you should have a good idea of what I’m talking about. I’ve managed to get some quality people from various sites (both operational and now defunct) to agree to open up a bit about their experiences, and I think it’s going to be something you’ll enjoy.
  2. At some point during the summer, expect some kind of actual Crunch news. Rest assured, I’ll talk about it when it happens.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get to your first new feature for the offseason, where your caretaker host attempts to enlighten you heathens. Read the rest of this entry »

May
19

For those of you who get your site news on Twitter, this isn’t anything new, but for those who don’t, a few announcements:

1. The Lady of the Manor is going to take a well-deserved break from this place for the offseason. I’m sure all of you can appreciate that, considering the phenomenal job she does running things here. I heard about a story involving a pool floatation device, a bicycle pump, a swarthy-looking historian, and a copy of N-Sync’s Greatest Hits, but I really don’t know if I believe all of it. Human physiology dictates that parts of the story have to be bullshit, but I once saw something in a seedy section of Paris in 1997 that defied all logic, so who can say with any certainty.

2. In her absence, I’m taking the wheel for the summer. Uncle Magics is in charge for the next couple of months. For some of you, this may be great news. For the rest, this may be as creepy as a birthday clown raping a hobo. Unless, of course, that’s your thing, in which case, this might be the best summer of your life.

So, what should you, the loyal reader, expect from this site’s version of Napoleon’s Hundred Days? Well, I have some ideas. However, that’s all they are at the moment: ideas. There are no definitive plans right now, but I assure you, there will be content throughout the summer. One thing that I can tell you is that not all of it will be Crunch or even hockey-related. You may find it interesting or enlightening, you may not. All I’m asking is you give it a shot. And be patient. It’s been a while since I’ve done this. I may be rusty.

The festivities will begin next week. Let’s see where it takes us.

 

Apr
27

I’ve been starting at this screen for about fifteen minutes now, title done, nothing else written. There’s a whole lot of “if only” thoughts running through my head. There’s a whole lot of frustration that wants to overcome the rush of two great months that ended much too quickly.

I know I can’t let that frustration win. It’s pointless. It’s much better to remember the good than stew in the bad. I know that. But, I guess when things don’t go your way, it’s easier to let the bullshit spew than it is to talk about the good times.

Well, fuck that.

Thanks, Iiro Tarkki, for giving this fanbase something to believe in. You have a bright future, so much talent. I know you’ll go far.

Thanks, Kyle Palmieri. I don’t think we’ve seen the likes of you come through here, to be honest. We’ve had guys who were close, but you’re a one-in-a-million player. You gave us a lot to cheer about, often when there wasn’t anything else to yell for.

Thanks, Luca Caputi. What started with a fascination with your name turned into a legitimate appreciation for your talent, your drive, and the spark you brought to the bench and to this fanbase. You weren’t the flashiest, but you were by far one of the most hardworking. You got results, time after time. You were one of the major forces behind this team’s turn around. I’m only sorry we didn’t see you play in this series. I still feel you could have made a difference. I’ll probably miss you the most, and I wish you well.

Thanks, Rick Schofield. You were the first–and only so far–Crunch player to ever follow me on Twitter. It made me feel very appreciated and lucky whenever you’d respond or RT anything I’d say. Your game improved so much over the course of the season. You were definitely our unsung hero. You killed yourself, night after night, and had a work ethic that just wouldn’t quit.

Thanks, Nick Schaus. As our first player announcement here on the blog earlier this season, your presence on the team evoked a bit of pride in all of us here. Your positive attitude and desire to excel will take you far, I can tell.

Finally, thanks, Jim Sarosy and company. From conversations during games; phone calls and e-mails about teams, players and jerseys; barbs on Twitter; giddy exchanges fueled by adrenaline and caffeine…it’s the people who are behind these organizations that make the bad times tolerable and the good times amazing. I dare anyone in this league to find a better front office than the one we have in terms of passion, dedication, and attention paid to fans and season ticket holders. I may bust on the organization from time to time, but the front office will always have my respect and admiration for what they do and what they go through with us. Not above us, but with us.

It always feels weird when these series end on the road. It just stops. You don’t really expect it to. You don’t get to say that final goodbye to your guys, your players, your team. It’s just over. It’s weird, especially this season. There aren’t any playoff heroics to remember, nothing Crunch fans will still be talking about in four years. But, to be fair, not every season gets to have those moments. The lack of them doesn’t reflect poorly on this team. For two months, times were good, and that’s what I’m grateful for tonight. I really thought I’d be seeing the War Memorial again this season. I’m thankful for the good times we had, but I’m sorry they had to end so soon. Good luck, boys, with whatever happens next season and with whatever comes next. Always remember, when people ask you, where you got that extra bit of grit from.

And, as always, go Crunch.

Apr
27

Alex referenced the 2008 Calder Cup Playoffs in her earlier post and it got me thinking about Cory Scheider.

Schneider, now 26, was the backstop for Manitoba that season and has since made a name for himself as the preferred goaltender of Vancouver Canucks fans (and now coaches). That’s saying something when Roberto Luongo, the first goalie to ever sport a “C” on his sweater, is still on the roster with another decade and $47 mil remaining on his contract (which could change this summer).

A good friend of mine is an editor at an ESPN.com associate website that covers NCAA hockey and loved to point out Schneider’s record in “big games.” Namely, the NCAA Championship in both 2006 and 2007. Schneider took the loss in both as the net-minder for Boston College. He allowed just a combined four goals on 67 shots in those two games, but Michigan State and then Wisconsin took home the hardware. Impressive numbers for Cory, but no dice for the team.

The following season Schneider led Vancouver‘s AHL affiliate in Manitoba to the Calder Cup Playoffs, where they met a red-hot Syracuse Crunch club.  Schneider played well in an overtime loss in the series opener before leaving game two with an injury.

Manitoba would come back to win that game in overtime and crushed Syracuse 5-2 in game four to even the series again at 2-2.  But the Crunch won an overtime thriller in game five to reclaim home ice and finished off the series two days later at the War Memorial with another overtime victory.  For the series, Schneider had a 1.92 GAA and .938 save percentage over six games.  Impressive numbers for Cory, but no dice for the team.

The next season, Scheider had a cup of coffee with the Canucks before leading the Moose all the way to the Calder Cup finals. He would finish the postseason with a 2.15 GAA and .922 save percentage in 22 games, but Hershey won the Calder Cup in six games.  Impressive numbers for Cory, but no dice for the team.

Following a few appearances in Vancouver’s run to the 2011 Stanley Cup final, Scheider cemented himself as a full-time member of the NHL roster in 2011-12.  He started 28 games, recording 20 wins along the way as he helped Vancouver claim the President’s Trophy.  Following two home losses to eighth-seeded Los Angeles in the first round of the playoffs, Schneider was tabbed as the starter for the rest of the series.  With so many memories of postseason disappointments motivating him, this happened:

Schneider stopped 97 of the first 100 shots he saw in the series.  That was the 101st (and last).  Impressive numbers for Cory, but no dice for the team.

So what does this have to do with tonight’s game four against St. John’s?  Not a god damn thing.  I just hate Cory Schneider and all things Boston.  Carry on with your day.

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