Chairman How's Glorious Army
Significantly Lowering the Bar Since 2008.

I hope you’re not expecting too much out of this one tonight. I’m juggling two hockey games, a baseball game and working on my first academic journal submission.

So far, we have a 1-1 tie in the second, and Nasty and Boogaard just dropped them. The crowd is losing its shit, and it sounds as if the officials pulled them apart before anything of significance could happen. You knew it was going to happen, of course.

If you’re wondering, the Crunch scoring tonight has been Tito from Clitsome and Fritsche at 8:13 of the first.

More updates to come.

(Update @ 8:17)

Judge Joe tells us that J-L-S was just waylaid by Konstantin Pushkarev, who retaliated with what shook out to be a roughing double minor. The Good Guys are now two men down for two minutes, and the Pens, of course, bury it to take a 2-1 lead at 14:19. Everyone’s favorite horse’s ass, Ryan Bayda, gets credit for the goal from Chris Conner and Dustin Jeffrey.

(8:21)

The Judge says Danny has faced 25 shots thus far. This turnstile D is going to sink this team before too long. Penalties over, back to even strength. 3:50 remaining in the second.

(Second Intermission)

NICK SWISHER SCORES! 1-0 YANKEES!

Oh, you’re here for the Crunch. Well, then…

We’re at the second intermission right now, looking down the barrel of a 2-1 Pens lead. I know it probably sounds bad to say, but I thought it would be worse by this point. Maybe that’s a sign of progress? Realistically speaking, you can’t expect a talented team like the Pens to not cash in on a two man advantage. That being said, it sounds like a better LaCosta performance this evening than last night’s game.

The Judge is chatting it up with Tyler Wright at the moment. Nothing earth-shattering is being discussed, but the slurping sounds coming out of Brown’s mouth right now as he sucks off the Columbus organization and their “phenomenal track record” of developing talent in Syracuse is more than a little nauseating. Suck a little harder Joe, I don’t think you got it all. Wright goes on to offer the following gem: “If you’re not in Columbus, the goal should be to win a Calder Cup.”

Yeah? Hey, that’s great. You want to pass that along to your bosses? I don’t think they got the memo.

Meanwhile, the Leafs continue to humiliate themselves on NHL Network. Jesus Christ.

(8:54)

15:43 remaining in the third, and it is still 2-1, Pens. If you’re wondering, Derek Jeter went deep to make it a 2-0 Yankee lead. Your 2009 World Series champions, folks. Whether you like it or not, learn to love it.

(9:17)

After an internet failure, we’re back! And we apparently missed a lot! Currently it is 3-3, courtesy of goals by Sigalet and Mackenzie (SH) to take the lead, then a puck that LaCosta apparently stopped but fell in over the top of his head somehow immediately tied it back up. Poor Danny…when it rains, it pours. We are four on four with two minutes and change left in the third. Somehow, it seems like they deserve the two points tonight.

(End of Regulation)

We’re headed to overtime! An apparent bad bounce off LaCosta tied it up at 14:48 of the third brought us here. Regardless of the outcome, I have to tip my hat to the boys for hanging in and coming out with at least one point against a good Penguins team. There’s some pride on that bench. Not so much in terms of defense, but there’s a lot of pride, and I’ll give them credit for that.

(Final Update)

Nothing was settled in overtime, so we’re going to a shootout! Your shootout goes like this:

SYR: Aulin — No goal
WBS: Letestu — Goal
SYR: Mackenzie — No goal
WBS: Conner — No goal
SYR: Pelletier — No goal
WBS: Smith — Goal
SYR: Mayorov — No goal

That’s it…the Pens take it in the shoot out. It’s nice to grab one point, but it should have been two. Kind of disappointing, but I guess that’s the way it goes. Good night, everybody.