Chairman How's Glorious Army
Significantly Lowering the Bar Since 2008.

Well, it only took half the season, but we’re finally in playoff contention!

Right off, I’m going to hijack my own entry because I need to get an ugly incident off my chest through a small “Fuck that Guy!” rant. I am pissed, boys and girls. At the end of the game, an obviously irritated Grahame skated towards the away team’s open door and, instead of doing the smart thing which would have been to vent his frustration by slamming his stick on the ice or the goal, decided to wind up and hurl his stick at the open door. We’re talking he threw his arm back like he was pitching a fucking baseball and whaled his stick against the door frame, to the point where the force flung it out of his hands. There were at least five of us unprotected that could have, had the stick struck the opening, gotten a face full of goalie stick and/or fragments. As it was, Stefan Legein got smacked right in the face with his own goaltender’s rouge stick, and boy, he looked like a fucking puppy who had been hit viciously with a newspaper for shitting on the carpet when that happened. It was like adding salt to the wound: not only had he been embarrassed in front of his old team–his tripping penalty started the scoring barrage for the Crunch–he then got stick-whipped by his own goaltender.

But you know, had that been the only thing that had happened, I probably would have been able to let it go. Yea, Grahame should have known better. He’s been playing hockey forever. He was understandably frustrated but hell, he should know by now how to control his emotions. And just so we’re clear–Kevin Harvey used to pull that stick flinging shit all the time and I really started to hate him for it. So it’s not just because it was a player on the other team.

But anyway, what pissed me off even more is that the people who were in front of me, who are friends of mine, grabbed the Phantom’s coach as they were leaving and expressed understandable concern that someone could have been hurt and how ridiculous it was that Grahame didn’t even think about the audience or his own teammates. Instead of saying, “oh sorry, I’ll take care of it” or something equally polite or logical (whether it be a lie or not), he proceeded to start an argument with the fan about how it doesn’t matter what he did because no one got hurt. Are you f’ing kidding me, Coach Gilbert? Your player throws a hissy fit of epic proportions, almost takes the eye of his own teammate out, and you’re basically telling someone to fuck off because nothing happened? I understand your team just blew a really important game, but Jesus Christ, get some class.

You know what? Fuck you, Gilbert. I hope the Crunch takes you and your team down and we get to have our asses handed to us by Hershey instead of your team getting that honor. Go to hell.

Okay, now that’s out of my system…

I’m really not sure what to say about tonight. It was a case of three very different periods. The first period was an obvious testing the water period. The Crunch dominated in SOG–8-3–but had nothing to show for it. The play was physical but nothing really happened. The PK pulled through in the clutch and bailed out the Crunch when they got into some penalty hot water and found themselves with what seemed like the longest 5-on-3 I’ve ever sat through. The Crunch’s only PP of the first frame looked like absolute crap.  The period ended 0-0.

The second period was just a lopsided, shitty mess. The Crunch was handed penalty after penalty after penalty, some on the line of deserved while others were just full on fuckwattage. I don’t know what game the officials were watching during the second, but it wasn’t the same one I was watching. During their power plays, the Phantoms poured on the shots: the period ended with a scale-busting 6-16 total. Yes, you saw that right: Adirondack got 16 shots off during the second period and the Crunch only got 6. Hard to put shots on net from the box. Lalande was flailing around the whole time like a crazed chicken. It was insane. But still, somehow, the score was still deadlocked at 0-0 at the end of the second.

And then there was the third period. Ah, we sure do love those final 20 minutes of hockey, don’t we Crunch fans? There’s just something about that smell of desperation that makes us come alive, and the Crunch certainly rose to the occasion tonight. As I said, the scoring started with the Crunch on the PP and then the team just went off from there. Aulin scored twice, Sigalet scored twice, and Picard threw in a goal just for the hell of it to make the final score 5-0 by the end of the period. The Crunch put up 22 shots on goal while the Phantoms managed only 3. Two of those goals came on the power play. Two. In one period. I can’t figure it out either. I’ve never seen anything like it and I live in LA. Or upstate NY. Whichever.

Phew. So, as it stands, the Crunch is now tied with the Phantoms for 4th place in our division. Norfolk is two points ahead of us. Two. WBS is two points behind us, with a game against Hershey tomorrow (LET’S GO BEARS!). Lalande has finally found his groove and damn, does he look fine. Our offense is coming alive and our defense didn’t look that terrible tonight (knock on wood). Is this rag-tag group of misfits and randoms actually coming together and making some kind of real effort at a post-season? Whoddathunkit?!