Chairman How's Glorious Army
Significantly Lowering the Bar Since 2008.

Your lines for tonight: What the hell?!

MacKenzie, Frischmon, Kana

Moore, Kolarik, LaVallee-Smotherman

Aulin, Mayorov, Harvey

Ferguson, Ratchuk, Kronschnabel

D: Sigalet, Bell, Holden, Clitsome, Regner, Liffiton

Goal: Not surprisingly, Lalande. We’re gonna ride that bitch till his wheels fall off.

I don’t even know. Seriously. Fritsche is apparently hurt. I noticed last night he left the ice several times during the third and was shaking his hand a lot. All the play this weekend must have hurt it again. I hope he’ll heal up before next weekend. Sesito also hurt his hip again. Fantastic.

But wow…these lines are insane. Frisch was just playing on the 4th line with Mirasty and Harvey Friday night and now he’s on the first line. He works so hard, it’s great to see him there, but…wow. And Ratchuk at forward? Here’s the annoying thing about that:  Mirasty isn’t playing. I realize Yabo isn’t either, but we obviously desperately needed a forward for that 4th line. MJ and I were just discussing how much Mirasty has improved this season. So instead of playing Mirasty tonight, Yates decided to take away from our already heavy-hit and suck-faced defense and put Ratchuk at forward?

My head hurts.

The first period was uneventful and boring. No scoring, no penalties, one scoring chance for the Crunch. I swear, the Crunch misses more open nets than any other team in the league. Mr. Magoo could score on those. Good lord.

We seemed very uninspired tonight and we paid for it in the second with Bingo scoring first on a two-on-one. Shocking when you have no D, I know, but there you have it. St. Pierre got the goal. The Crunch also gave Bingo the first power play of the night. Thankfully our PK was awake and ready and didn’t allow the Baby Sens more than one SOG.

A bit later the Crunch managed to finally get a goal. Kolarik sailed it to Moore, who sent it in and scored. Took ‘em long enough to look alive. I will admit, it’s good to have the new guys speaking up often and early.

Is anyone else sick of Harvey being a penalty machine and not achieving much else? Why the hell are we still playing this guy? He’s won one fight all year, caused one penalty, and has spent the rest of his time douching it up. Why couldn’t we get rid of him for someone? He took another penalty tonight, just as the Crunch was starting to gain some kind of momentum. Thankfully nothing came of it, but the Crunch took a pretty hard momentum hit despite another short-handed breakaway chance by MacKenzie. The second period ended with another tie, though this time it was a 1-1 tie.

Will someone please tell Joe Brown it’s Ko-LAR-ik? Please? Holy crap. The guy plays for our team now. Figure it out. And Bingo? Good God, those St. Pat’s Day jerseys were ugggggglly.

Going into the third period, I really had to admire Bingo’s discipline. They hadn”t given the Crunch one PP. Not one. Not even a wiff of one. The Crunch didn’t allow that many–three as of four minutes into the third–but not allowing any, especially with touchy refs….that’s a way to keep your team in the game. And it worked, seeing at the Sens were able to convert on that third PP chance, making the score 2-1 with 15 minutes left in the third. Daugavins got the apparently questionable goal, but I wasn’t watching so I really can’t say anything. And just a few seconds later Harvey goes into the box AGAIN, taking an interference penalty this time.

Lucky for the Crunch, the PK went by with no score. That set up a chance for the Crunch to score and score they did, with Kolarik coming in and getting a great goal with 10 minutes left in the third. The goal appeared to put some energy back into the Crunch’s play, which was good as I had been falling asleep.

I hadn’t realized this was the last time with play Bingo this year. That kind of sucks, these are always good games. Ah well, it’s been fun.

There was way too much traffic in the Crunch’s own end during the final few minutes of this period. You’d think-

UM.

Never mind. The Crunch just scored with 1:05 left in the game. And who scored it? Yea, KolARik again.  Moore did, with an assist from Kolarik (JB went on and on about Kolarik…sorry). Yup. Our random second line got all of the goals tonight. KolARik’s Moore’s goal made the score 3-2 and also made Bingo pull their goaltender, a move that almost spelled disaster for the Crunch last night.

…

And this time, it did spell disaster as Bingo manages to score with 20 seconds left. TWENTY SECONDS. Idiots! That’s all we had to do was clear the puck but we couldn’t manage it. It’s one of the simplest things to do in hockey and we just couldn’t do it. I’m so sick of this!

And the game goes into OT. The Crunch has yet to win a game in sudden death. Hell.

Way too many chances in OT for the Sens. Way too many. Good lord. Heart attack. But somehow Liffiton–LIFFITON–manages to score! In OT! The Crunch wins in OT for the first time this season!

Did we seriously get all 6 points this weekend? Seriously? Wow. Didn’t expect that at all, kids. Not at all, especially with the way we played sometimes. Goddamn!

And, of course, JB’s Jewel of the game:

–”…tries to team up with Trevor Frischmon and takes the shot–Lalande barely makes the save!”

…What?