Chairman How's Glorious Army
Significantly Lowering the Bar Since 2008.

(Note: This originally appeared over at Anaheim Calling last week. In case you missed it over there, this is the more…colorful…version)

I really didn’t think I’d have to do this so soon, but you’d think a “professional” wouldn’t need lessons in logic and common sense…

Yes, it was two weeks ago, but my favorite hack has already started beating the drum about the Crunch being ignored by the Ducks. Jesus Christ, really? On August 13th?

I guess it’s never too early to start poisoning a relationship, eh?

For my money, the most short-sighted part of that article reads as follows:

Whether you want to give the Ducks the benefit of the doubt or not when it comes to assembling their first Crunch team is up to you. And there’s no question that after a fast start to the off-season – Jaffray, Green, Syvret, Smith – the news on the free-agent front has been underwhelming. This isn’t the buzz you want to create coming into your first year in a city. And there’s no way Anaheim starts the season without an experienced No. 3 netminder in the system.

But, one of the truisms of the AHL is that it’s not what the team looks like now that matters, it’s who takes the ice in October. If you want to buy into the faith that Howard Dolgon has put in David McNab and Bob Murray, you’ll just have to wait and see.

A complicating factor is that few of us really know how good their first- and second-year players are. For better or worse, we always had a good sense where Columbus’ returners stacked up and could judge the complementary pieces from there. Since many of the Ducks first- and second-year guys played around the AHL and in the ECHL last season, it’s hard to get a true feel for what kind of talent is already on the shelf.

Let’s examine this a little deeper:

“Whether you want to give the Ducks the benefit of the doubt or not when it comes to assembling their first Crunch team is up to you.”

You’re right, it is. And the fact of the matter is that there are more Crunch fans willing to do so than not.

“And there’s no question that after a fast start to the off-season – Jaffray, Green, Syvret, Smith – the news on the free-agent front has been underwhelming. This isn’t the buzz you want to create coming into your first year in a city. And there’s no way Anaheim starts the season without an experienced No. 3 netminder in the system.”

Something to remember — the Ducks already had a decent number of AHL-ready prospects, from what we’ve been told. If that’s the case, then the need to make a splash in the free agency market isn’t as dire. Further, The Ducks still have some issues to button up on their own roster (hi, Bobby Ryan!) There’s only so much money and attention to go around. While we’re at it, the buzz around the Ducks has been pretty strong in the Crunch fanbase. Just how many fans did the Crunch actually save this year by telling Columbus to go fuck themselves? Quite a few, actually. And finally, if there’s “no way” the Ducks will start the season without another goalie on the payroll, why bring it up? Don’t worry about it if it’s such a sure thing.

“But, one of the truisms of the AHL is that it’s not what the team looks like now that matters, it’s who takes the ice in October. If you want to buy into the faith that Howard Dolgon has put in David McNab and Bob Murray, you’ll just have to wait and see.”

Hey, something that makes sense! Way to go, champ! Obviously, championships aren’t won in August. Right now, every team in the NHL, AHL, ECHL, KHL, YMCA and E=MC2 has the same possible outcome for this coming season: they’ll either win it all, or they won’t. I don’t believe for a second that The Bossman would put himself in the same position that he was put in with Columbus and their Cavalcade of Dipshits running the helm. Furthermore, I don’t think any rational Crunch fan would, either. So why bring it up?

“A complicating factor is that few of us really know how good their first- and second-year players are. For better or worse, we always had a good sense where Columbus’ returners stacked up and could judge the complementary pieces from there. Since many of the Ducks first- and second-year guys played around the AHL and in the ECHL last season, it’s hard to get a true feel for what kind of talent is already on the shelf.”

A couple of things here. First, none of us know how good or bad the Young Ducks are going to be as a team. Why? BECAUSE THEY’VE YET TO PLAY TOGETHER. Placing any kind of expectations on this year’s roster before, say, Thanksgiving, is downright moronic. Whether you expect them to kick ass out of the gate or fall out of contention before Lights on the Lake starts is only setting up the season for failure. Everyone, from the coaching staff to the last man on the bench, is coming into a new situation. Let them figure it out without worrying about it in August. And yes, we always knew what to expect from the Columbus every year: that for every 10 moves they made, 9 of them backfired. It’s a fresh start for all involved…why bring that horseshit negativity into the mix when it’s yet to be warranted?

Look, it’s really quite simple. The first preseason game is still a month away. It’s the first year for a new affiliate, with a new coaching staff, a new philosophy, and a roster of guys who have not yet played a game together as a team. Taking the “pity poor us” position does no one any favors, and effectively implies that you’ve already dismissed this season as a lost cause by already building in excuses for poor results. Instead, why not lay back, see what happens, and worry about what happens on the ice when it actually happens? I promise, it’s not like this team is going to go 0-80. Relax.